The answer to global warming
Ladies and gentlemen get your shorts untied because the conservatives have been lying all along. They said that there was nothing we could do to reverse global warming but here at Frontline America Inc. our dedicated team of scientists have been working diligently to propose a radical solution to the "Global Warming Crisis".
Dr. Chung Nung is a leading scientist at our lab and will now explain the simple yet effective plan for deGlobal Warming. "First we must consider all the options to date", said Dr. Nung, "we have treaties that will destroy many economies including our own. Unfortunatly these treaties are just too weak to make any sizable impact on the global readings. We have no choice but to use a simple cloud making device to reflect a vast amount of Solar Radiation back into space."
"We are very excited that this program has gotten the green light from our President", said Dr. Nung, "and we look forward to seeing it for real."
Below is a picture of Dr. Chung Nung with his coworkers putting the finishing touches on the "deGlobal Warming I".
The "deGlobal Warming I" is a relatively unmodified Minuteman III InterContinental Ballistic Missile mounting a single 300KiloTon warhead.
"We selected the Minuteman III because it was very flexible. We could aim it anywhere in the world where we could kick up a large dust cloud. When we began the program in 2001 it was suggested by the US Air Force that we look into using Iraq as a test location. That plan was scrapped a few years ago and until recently we did not have any nation that would volunteer to host the program. This all changed when we got the "go ahead" from the President to use Iran as a subject."
"We are very confident that it will work", said Dr. Nung, "and it is better than Kyoto because it will only destroy one economy. If it doesn't work the first time we have been assured by the United States Government that we can have as many as we like."
Dr. Chung Nung is a leading scientist at our lab and will now explain the simple yet effective plan for deGlobal Warming. "First we must consider all the options to date", said Dr. Nung, "we have treaties that will destroy many economies including our own. Unfortunatly these treaties are just too weak to make any sizable impact on the global readings. We have no choice but to use a simple cloud making device to reflect a vast amount of Solar Radiation back into space."
"We are very excited that this program has gotten the green light from our President", said Dr. Nung, "and we look forward to seeing it for real."
Below is a picture of Dr. Chung Nung with his coworkers putting the finishing touches on the "deGlobal Warming I".
The "deGlobal Warming I" is a relatively unmodified Minuteman III InterContinental Ballistic Missile mounting a single 300KiloTon warhead."We selected the Minuteman III because it was very flexible. We could aim it anywhere in the world where we could kick up a large dust cloud. When we began the program in 2001 it was suggested by the US Air Force that we look into using Iraq as a test location. That plan was scrapped a few years ago and until recently we did not have any nation that would volunteer to host the program. This all changed when we got the "go ahead" from the President to use Iran as a subject."
"We are very confident that it will work", said Dr. Nung, "and it is better than Kyoto because it will only destroy one economy. If it doesn't work the first time we have been assured by the United States Government that we can have as many as we like."
reported in by Think Tank Commander at 2:56 PM
3 Comments:
There is only one problem with the FA deGlobal Warming action. You will leave areas that we need access to obtain oil from, radioactive.
We need to work out that issue.
Problem solved. It just came to me out of the blue. I have no idea what it is called, but you can drill for oil and gas at angles or down then horizontally to get to various pockets.
The fallout goes east so we just make sure we have a place to drill from...from the west.
Ta-da! Let the fireworks begin! We can set up the remote cameras, put the whole thing to the music (escapes me at the time) the one always used for the Grand Finale.
First we won't airburst the nukes so as to contain the radiation a bit, plus it will kick up more dust that way.
Second, we will use a bit of "cold" technology to contain the neutrons at detonation.
Seems like reasonable precautions.
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